Dear Cane Fans: Yes, you won the Gator game, but did you really? Ok sure, the final score is important, but what did you really accomplish? Your star running back, the great (against division 2 teams) Duke Johnson was a non factor. In the 3rd quarter, you netted only 2 yards. Are the Canes “Back”? That’s what I keep hearing. You better be able to perform better than you did because nobody else is going to give up 5 turnovers and get into the red zone 6 times with one score!
Am I pissed? Yes. I’m pissed that we (UF) pissed away a game that we owned in every category! Yes, the Cane defense played excellent and did make some important big plays, but not enough to win. You needed our help! Sadly, we obliged and now you get bragging rights for the next 100 years. I had a great time at the game, at least until there was 4 minutes left and I put my Gator tail between my legs and walked to my car. Here’s the deal, there’s still a long season of football left to play. We are off, and then play Tennessee. The Canes play…ready…Savannah State! WTF is wrong with this picture? Win the rest of your games, and you may end up in the top ten. We win the rest of our games and we play for the BCS National Championship game. I pray that we get to see UM in a bowl game, because Christmas is over and you’ll get no more gifts. Am I a Sore loser? Who isn’t? Anybody who loses gets mad, and if you don’t you’re NOT a real college football fan.
Now I am going to speak to the Canes fans that are annoyed by this column: You do me a favor and show up when Savannah State and any other team other than FSU comes to town and you’ll impress me. Prove to me that you’re not a “big game and bandwagon” fan group and then I’ll be impressed. I’ll be driving 5 hours to catch the Gator home games at the Swamp and To The loyal 25,000 that come to Sun Life for all the home games: Congrats and go beat the Noles!
I've been married 17 years to Gina, but to Ron...way longer. Let's compare the two:
After 3 drinks for Gina, I might get lucky. After 3 drinks, Ron would be lucky to be able to stand up.
While hanging on the beach, Gina looks great in a bathing suit. Last time I was on the beach with Ron, some people tried to roll him back into the water.
We were at a wedding over the weekend, while celebrating our anniversary and Gina got a little emotional. Ron gets emotional if the liquor store is closed.
I memorized my wedding vows. Ron memorized the Miranda rights.
If I had to do it all over again, I'd marry Gina without hesitation. If I was starting my radio show all over again, I'd hire Ryan Seacrest.
Gina still looks the same as the day we got married. Ron looks just like Diana Nayad as they pulled her from the water after swimming from Cuba.
1) Gina getting too cozy with Dolphins Center, Mike Pouncey
2) Gina getting cozy with some wine
3) Gina, apparently in a rap group
4) Gina and I last weekend on our 17th wedding anniversary. She looks incredible. I look like an old handbag.
So they suspended that coach for smacking his player upside the head during a game last weekend. Surprised? Hell to the no! I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, but I guess the Broward County School board had to cover their proverbial asses. The kid and his family LOVE the coach, his former and current players sing his praises but man, in this day and age, you get one You Tube moment and it could all be over. Realistically, the shot heard ‘round the world, was a split second. A moment in time, but because of Social Media and seeing it over and over again it looks bad.
You keep hearing, “in this day and age, he went too far”. That’s because everybody’s got a camera and trying to bring you down! Flashback to when I played high school football, (no we didn’t wear leather helmets) when we screwed up, our coach, and he was a bad dude, had a 4 foot wooden paddle with holes drilled into it and would pummel our asses with it. I’m not kidding! Not once did my Mom and Dad come to the school and say, “you paddled my boy! I want you suspended”. No, he was a great man and I love him to this day. He was disciplining us, and I hated it! It only happened to me once; I knew better and didn’t screw up again.
Should coaches be able to beat the crap out of kids? That’s not what I’m saying, but this was football, the heat of the moment, the kid was out of it and the coach was saying, “wake up, and get your head in the game” and because of his emotions getting away from him…he’s now on the sidelines, mocked nationally and suspended. Who loses here? The kids, who don’t have their coach for 2 games.
Everybody is freaking out about Ben Affleck taking over as the new Batman. Wait a minute. Ok, admittedly I thought really? Nobody else is cooler to play Batman? They screamed when Michael Keaton took the role and in my opinion, he may have been the best, Certainly the best Bruce Wayne.
I think Ben will nail the Bruce Wayne role. He’s dashing, studly, smooth and damn if he doesn’t have a square jaw, and that’s crucial! Stick a batman mask on the dude and what sticks out? The square jaw. Val Kilmer looked like a chipmunk. So we know Ben can play Bruce Wayne, hell…my wife would leave me for Ben in a minute, women love the guy.
The question is and a listener brought this up today: Can Ben play “BADASS”. Can he get dark? Christian Bale…that dude was so dark that I couldn’t understand half of what he was saying! Ok, Affleck was in Gigli, and he was married to J-Lo, but he also freaking directed and starred in Argo, my favorite movie of last year. Shouldn’t we cut him some slack (plus he’s married to Jennifer Garner now, he must have something going for him?
Ben Affleck, really?— ivan koumaev (@ivankoumaev) August 23, 2013
You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck.— Richard Dreyfuss (@RichardDreyfuss) August 23, 2013
Too full of nerd outrage to tweet about the whole Ben Affleck thing... TOO FULL OF RAGE.— LL Cool Tay (@freshestginger) August 23, 2013
People are scared of Ben Affleck as Batman because of Daredevil. I would not worry... unless he starts dating J.Lo again.— theRadBrad (@thaRadBrad) August 23, 2013
What did we all do as people to deserve making Ben Affleck the new Batman? Christian Bale why couldn't you just take the damn 50 million?— Kellen McGregor (@mmfkellen) August 23, 2013
Here is a quick video that I shot showing what it looks like behind the scenes of the Paul and Young Ron show.
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Well, this is back to school week. If you’re a kid going back to school, this word comes to mind: FU^*#@K! But if you’re a parent, who have been wondering all damn summer: where the kids are? How late they’ve been out? Who they are with? Where the hell am I going to take them this summer? Etc… Then it’s time to drink and celebrate.
I ran into a Mom on Sunday, who was high fiving one of her friends and doing a shot of tequila. I said, “What happened? Are you celebrating the Dolphins receiver, Mike Wallace scoring his first TD?” “No”, she replied, “the kids go back to school tomorrow, we get our lives back”. (ah, Pilates, Jazzercise, lunch with the gals, the hair salon, shopping)
So, if you are going back to school, who are you? Are you the teachers pet? Is that bad? Hey, sucking up isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sure, Brown nosing is bad, “you sure look nice today, Mr. Vaginetti”. But being the kid who answers the questions, sits in the front row and gets good grades? What’s wrong with that? Hell, if they like you, trust me… when you do screw up, and you will… they’ll remember what a suck up you are and go, “aww, he’s a good kid” and let you slide! (that was me!)
My partner Ron offers these handy back to school memories:
One time he made out with a girl under the bleachers, turns out, that when he reached down below her belt, he got a handful of junk. Surprise!
At his high school, he was voted “most likely not to”.
Ron was once touched inappropriately by the gym teacher, and bragged about it.
His favorite school memory was from his time on the JV wrestling squad when his face got stuck in his opponents under shorts.
Also, remember these words somebody very smart once told me: School is over rated and not for everybody. Remember, the world needs dishwashers and ditch diggers too!
Funny thing is, you may hate school right now, but trust me… it’s a lot better than having to work everyday!
Paul Castronovo; follow me on twitter @paulcastronovo
This may come across as self serving, but I’m pretty proud of our team for receiving this way cool award in Chicago over the weekend. Being one of the top 25 most influential shows of the past 25 years as voted on by our peers in the biz, means a lot to me. Does Ron get to borrow the trophy? Hell, he didn’t even show up at the awards ceremony! He wants to share it, 3 months with me, 3 months with him. Something to ponder. The other names on the list are huge shows that I’m honored to be up there with:
Kidd Kraddick (RIP, brother); Jeff and Jer in
Oh, I drank a bottle of booze with my friend Lisa during the awards ceremony. Is that wrong?
See how many famous DJ’s you can name in the photo!
Great to see the Dolphins on the tube last night, sure it was “pre-season nobody cares about” football, but it was football! And dammit, we need it back in our lives. After football, Us football guys pretend to get into other sports. For instance, sure it was a blast to watch Lebron and the Heat get another championship. I didn’t get any sleep for a few weeks, and it’s ok to joke around with our friends at work with stuff like, “how ‘bout those Heat?” or did you see that slam by Lebron?” But it’s really unfulfilling.
Baseball, well baseball just sits there, doesn’t it? The most baseball talk we’ve done this year was today and it was about A Rod and the Roids, see ya later buddy (although, baseball was way more fun when Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa were juiced up and knocking balls to the moon that season). But baseball in this town, is dead.
Hockey? See baseball. That being said, the Panther fans are ready to go at a moments notice, just put a freaking team out there and we’ll go.
Summer TV? Yeah, I’ve been binge watching, Game of Thrones and its insane and I love it and I call Gina “Me Lady” and stuff, but it’s not FOOTBALL! But football is back!
Sort of. I need to see College Gameday on Saturday mornings. I need to be planning my tailgate parties with friends, road trips, etc. I need to start harassing my Cane brothers as we lead up to the September 7th Gator Cane game at Sun Life. You see, at the beginning of the season, we’re all in first place and every game is do or die! We love our teams and have one thing in common: We all hate the Jets. You see? It’s begun.