In a recent review of the film “Identity Thief”, has-been critic Rex Reed eviscerated star Melissa McCarthy, calling her “tractor-sized” and “a female hippo.” Here’s my reply
Dear Rex Reed,
You're still alive? The few people who had ever heard of you had assumed that you had died years ago. Now we find ourselves wishing that you had.
Melissa McCarthy has two things you've always wished you were born with: Talent and a vadge.
From now on, I hope you'll be treated the same way animal rights activists treat people who wear fur coats. But instead of blood, I hope you are pelted with cupcakes and Big Macs wherever you go. I'm sure you'd appreciate a well-hurled cucumber sailing your way, but no, you CAN'T have it your way.
Do us all a favor, you snarky old bear: Go hibernate, and forget about the waking up part.
p.s. Here’s a great article that theorizes the genesis of Reed’s vitriol:LINK